Lord of the Smash
by mbrothers
Summary: A parody of LotR! When A young hobbit comes in possesion of the One Ring, forged by the dark lord, can't say who because of spoliers, he and his 3 closest friends set out to save the world. By Alex, not Lucas! Discontinued
1. Prolouge

Long ago, in the world of Nintendo, many great legends were told throughout the ages, but the greatest was about a journey and war, both of which were rule-fating and changed Nintendo forever, and both centered around… A ring.

It began with the forging of the Great Rings of Nintendo. Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine rings were given to the race of men, who, above all else, desire power. For it was in these rings that bound the strength and wisdom of Nintendo. But they were all deceived, for another ring was made…

In the land of the Evil Realm, in the fires of Mount Fire, the dark lord Ganondorf forged in secret a master ring, to control all others. And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.

One by one, the free lands of Nintendo fell to the power of the ring. But there were those who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the Polygon army of the Evil Realm, led by lord Sheik of the elves and King Luigi of the Mushroom Kingdom with his son, Prince Snake, for the men. And on the slopes of Mount Fire, they fought for the freedom of Nintendo.

It was a fierce battle, one that would end the Second Age of Nintendo. The elves and men drove through the defense of the Polygons. However, just when victory was nigh, Ganondorf himself appeared on the battlefield, with him the One Ring. For the power of the ring could not be undone.

None dared charge at Ganondorf, so he used his immense power to wipe out the alliance. None except King Luigi, who charged out of the ranks and dueled Ganondorf. However, Ganondorf sent Luigi against the mountain side, killing him.

And it was here, when all hope was lost, that Snake rushed to his father's side and picked up the Biggoron Sword. However, Ganondorf stomped on the blade, shattering it. However, as Ganondorf raised his sword, Snake picked up the handle and, with what blade was left, swung at Ganondorf. It severed his fingers, including the one with the ring on. Air sucked into Ganondorf and he vanished in an explosion of light. Ganondorf, enemy of all beings of Nintendo, was defeated.

It was here Snake had a chance to rid Nintendo of evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted, and the ring of power has a will of its own. Snake took the ring for himself and wore it around his neck like a necklace. When Polygons attacked Snake and his party while they were riding through a forest, Snake tried to escape by putting on the ring, therefore making himself invisible. As he swam through a river, the ring betrayed Snake and slipped off, abandoning Snake to his death.

History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the ring vanished from all myth. Until, when the time came, in enslaved a new barer.

The ring came to the creature Yoshi, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Bongo Mountains, and there, it consumed him. The ring gave Yoshi unnatural long life. For five hundred years, it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Yoshi's cave, it waited.

Darkness spread over the forest of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the ring of power believed. Its time had now come. It abandoned Yoshi, but something happened the ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A hobbit, Olimar Baggins, of Dreamland. For the time would soon come when hobbits would shape the fortunes of all.

* * *

Well, this is a parody of the epic, Lord of the Rings. There will be things in here that were in the book, but not the movie, so it's a combination of the two. For example, I will include The Scouring of th Shire (or in this case, Dreamland), a part many fans, including myself, were disappointed about not being in the movie. I think they just tried to make the ring's destrcution the climax rather than focus on the fact Lord of the Rings was about more than just that quest.

Anyways, I tried to make each person fit as well as possible. I'm starting a new fic because I haven't recieved reviews for my other stories. At least, inspiring ones. I'm very picky about them. This won't be like most other parodies where it's also humor. It will have the genres of the movie, but the darker side of the book. If you ever reaad the book, you're favorite part will probably end up in the fic. Yes, this will be all thre movies combined plus the stuff missing from the book. So, it's going to be a LONG time before its finished.

Note: I don't have all the movies memorized, I just have a very good memory. I had problems remembering several lines of the Prolouge alone. So, enjoy!


	2. A Long, expected party

Pit Baggins sat alone beneath a tree in Dreamland, reading a book. 60 years had passed since his uncle Olimar returned from his adventure to Death Mountain and him returning with his mysterious ring. He had raised the young hobbit ever since his parents passed away in a boating accident. His Eleventy Hundredth birthday was coming soon and it was Pit's Thirty Third. He never knew what his birthday was, so he considered Olimar's his own. Hobbits aged slower than men, so to men, it'd be like turning eighteen.

The outside world never affected Dreamland. It was always the one place in Nintendo always pure and rich. You could call it heaven on Nintendo. It was absolutely nothing short of exactly that. None would ever mind living there.

Suddenly, he heard signing in the distance. There was only one person that would come around such parts that had a voice like that. Pit closed his book and got up. He then ran towards the voice. When he reached the road, there was a cart being pulled by a lone horse. The driver was blue all over, except for a line of black along his eyes that made it look like a mask. He also had a pointed, faded blue wizard hat.

"Your late," Pit said to the person.

He stopped and looked up and said, "A wizard is never late, Pit Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!"

The two looked at each other for a moment and began laughing.

"It's wonderful to see you, Lucario!" Pit exclaimed as he jumped into Lucario's arms.

"You don't think I would miss you and your Uncle Olimar's birthdays, do you?" Lucario asked.

As they two continued on down the path in Lucario's carriage, Pit said to Lucario, "What news of the outside world? Tell me everything!"

"Everything?" Lucario asked, "You're far too eager and curious for a hobbit. Most unnatural. Ah, what can I tell you? Life in the wide world goes on much as it has this past age, full of its own comings and goings, scaring the awareness of the existence of hobbits. For which I am very thankful."

He had a good reason to. Hobbits were a very weak race. One could easily invade their land and defeat them with a not to strong army. As they rode on, Lucario and Pit continued their conversation.

"So how is the old rascal?" Lucario asked, "I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence."

"You know Olimar," Pit said, "He's got the whole place in an uproar."

"Well, now, that should please him," Lucario said.

"Half of Dreamland's been invited!"

"Gracious, me,"

"He's up to something…" Pit suspected.

"Oh… really…" Lucario played dumb.

"All right then, keep your secrets," Pit said, causing Lucario to chuckle, "Before you came along, we Baggins were very well thought of."

"Indeed," Lucario agreed.

"Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected," Pit said.

"If you're referring to that incident with the dragon, I was barely involved," Lucario said, "All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out the door."

"Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace," Pit said. The two continued on down the road for a bit before Pit spoke up again.

"Lucario," he said, "I'm glad you're back."

"So am I, dear boy!" Lucario said as Pit jumped off the carriage and walked on, "So am I."

As Lucario rode up the hill, he stopped as he came to his destination. Hobbits lived in holes in the ground and he stopped as he reached Olimar's home.

He walked up to the door, the only visible part of the house except for the chimney; he knocked and heard from the other side, "No thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well wishers or distant relations!"

"And what about very old friends?" Lucario almost couldn't help himself from bursting out in laughter.

The door opened to reveal the hobbit Olimar Baggins.

"Lucario?" he asked.

"Olimar Baggins!" Lucario said as he kneeled down to his friend's size and hugged.

"It's amazing to see you," Lucario said, "One hundred and eleven years old!"

He then looked at Olimar and said, "You haven't aged a day."

They both began to laugh as Olimar said, "Well, come on in!"

Lucario walked in and almost reached the roof by just standing up because the homes were built for people of hobbit size.

"Tea?" Olimar asked as he took Lucario's hat and staff, "Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the old winchers left. 1296, very good year! It's almost as old as I am!"

He then put Lucario's staff and hat in a corner and began to run off the kitchen as he continued, "It was laid down by my father. What say we open one, heh?"

"Just tea, thank you," Lucario said. As he turned he bumped his head on the door way and walked into the living room as Olimar continued on from the kitchen. He walked over to the desk and looked at the stuff on. It was a map of Nintendo, particularly of the area with Death Mountain.

"I can make you some eggs if you like," Olimar said as he walked into the living room to find Lucario gone.

"Just tea, thank you," Lucario said as he appeared in the kitchen from behind Olimar.

"Oh, right," Olimar said, "You don't mind if I eat, do you?"

"No, not at all," Lucario said. Suddenly a banging was heard on the door and a voice shouting, "Olimar! Olimar Baggins!"

"I'm not at home!" Olimar whispered to Lucario. When the person was gone, Olimar walked over to Lucario, saying, "I have to get away from these compounded relatives, hanging on the bell, never giving me a moment's peace! I want to see mountains again. Mountains, Lucario! And find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. Oh, tea!"

Olimar walked over to the pot and poured cups for he and Lucario as Lucario said, "So, you mean to go through with your plan then?"

"Yes," Olimar said, "All the arrangements have been made."

"Pit suspects something," Lucario said.

"Of course he does, he's a Baggins! Not some block-headed parish from Hard Bottle!"

"You will tell him, won't you?"

"Yes, yes…"

"He's very fond of you,"

"I know…" Olimar said, "He'd probably come with me if I asked him to. But, in his heart, Pit's still in love with Dreamland. Woods, fields, little rivers."

Neither spoke for a moment before Olimar said, "I'm old, Lucario. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it. I feel… thin… stretched like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not too…"

Later that evening, right before Olimar and Pit's party, Lucario and Olimar sat outside Olimar's house, smoking pipes. Olimar blew out a ring and Lucario blew out a ship that sailed through it.

"Lucario, my old friend," Olimar said, "This will be a night to remember…"


End file.
